Allowing Grace

In January 2015 I met Michelle Radomski in person at an event called  It’s Your Turn. We had come together to celebrate the new style of women doing business together.

During the experience,  Michelle and I were drawn to one another.  We decided to indulge in some double dipping – delicious idea invented by Joie Gharrity, where she and I would pool resources and share some of our talents in a new way.

Voila!  (that’s French for and here it is)

We each picked a card from the assortment of cards Michelle had brought that are illustrated with her beautiful mandalas.  The first one was I believe,  you can read all about what that means by the numbers here.

The second card Allowing Grace, finished the sentence.

Michelle Radomski_allowing grace
I Believe in Allowing Grace.   
When you know the numeric resonance of a phrase it can shift so many things.

Allowing Grace.   This phrase adds up to number 64.  Yes that number we use as in – What is the $64 question – meaning do you know the answer to that difficult question?

Six is for love, and its an emotional number. Four is for order, and is a manifesting number (to make things real) and they add up to a 10.  10 reduces to 1 (since 0 has no value) and the 1 is a number of new beginnings.  It is a mind number.  All three triads are represented, which is a powerful statement in a phrase.

The 6 in ‘Allowing Grace’  repeats the love and echoes the 6 of the word believe and phrase I believe.
There is a 4 in both I believe and Allowing Grace. 4 is the number of roots, and order.

6 plus 4 becomes 10.  The core universal numbers of instant manifestation.  Basically producing what you believe.   So Allowing Grace is in essence another way of saying I believe.
The 10 reduces to 1.  The first number of new beginnings, vision and taking action.

1.7
This number 1 reveals that this phrase ‘Allowing Grace‘ can lead us to a place of glory, to everything we desire, if we are willing to believe, allow, and then lead and act from that  sacred place.  The perfect balance of ying and yang.

When we go deeper into the individual words in the phrase we find out that Allowing equals 39.  3+9=12. 1+2=3

12 is a number of learning, which instructs us to imbue what we have learned into birthing creative self expression and thereby making joy.  This means we need to rejoice in the discovery that allowing brings.
3 is also an emotional number like 6 and 9.

Grace equals 25,  2+5=7
25 is the number of the spiritual reformer.  Encouraging us to transcend through spiritual insight..
The 7 is a mystical number that asks us to trust our Divine Instincts enough to know our own beliefs.

So in the end, and in the beginning,  we always have belief.

Michelle Radomski and I

Michelle Radomski and I in Pismo Beach

What do you believe?

The other day I lost something and went back where I thought it might be. (several days had passed by the time I realized it was lost)

While I waited for the man to check, I pulled out the two cards of Michelle’s we had chosen,  and gazed at them, reading the words  ‘I believe in Allowing Grace’ over and over, feeling my heart open to the prayer within.
Not judging or deciding.  Just trusting.

A few minutes later the man came back with my item.
I really was ready to sing out Hallelujah.

I am a believer.

I Believe

A couple weeks ago I met Michelle Radomski in person after connecting with her on facebook for a while.. I was fascinated by her exquisite mini jeweled mandalas that are designed from a word or phrase.
Michelles CardsPeople were choosing a word of the year and Michelle was creating a divine visual.

Fast forward to January 2015, at an Its Your Turn event by the ocean, (a movement that is changing how we support others and thereby ourselves) that brought over 20 women leaders together.
Over the course of the two days many connections were forged and Michelle and I felt drawn to one another.

We decided to double dip, (that’s a brilliant strategy by Joie Gharrity),  using Michelle’s beautiful business cards, the backs of which were graced with gorgeous colors and a word mandala made by Michelle’s own hands., and I would explore the number meanings of the phrases.

michelle R and me

Michelle & I


We each picked a card and the 2 phrases formed a cool sentence.

“I believe in Allowing Grace.”
What I discovered is pretty astonishing :

Starting with ‘I believe’
What beautiful energy in those two words. When you chant them as an incantation the vibration of possibility arises around you.

Looking deeper into the letters, adding up the corresponding numbers, equals 42 which when added up again makes 6 (4+2) number of human love, service and self care.
It also accentuates a major number of our 21st century year 2015 since. 1+5=6
That in and of it’s self speaks volumes. This year is about birthing our joy through love, being of service to self and others. We do need to believe in love to embrace it.

The phrase ‘I believe’ begins with an I which equals a 9. Number of compassion, release and endings. 9 is called the King of numbers because it contains all the numbers within itself, wise and sometimes overbalanced with too much ego.
Both 9 & 6 are emotional numbers, ruled by feelings. In fact they resemble reversed forms of one another.
Michelle Radomski i believeBelief flourishes when it begins with you and travels into everything you see
creating waves of wonder

The word Believe itself adds up to a 6, just like I believe. How wild is that?
It is actually 33 a Master number of double creativity.
3+3=6 also known as the Christ conscious number.
We have 33 vertebrae in our spine, which is what allows us to stand, bend and adjust to everything in life.
Either we carry the world on our shoulders bent over in pain, or align our spine to walk with ease in the world embracing our creative joyful self expression, in awe with life.

If you ever find yourself slipping down that slope of feeling injured because someone else is making you feel bad saying the ‘I believe mantra’ can ground you in a different reality.
Say it out loud until you feel it in your spine. I believe in who I am. I believe my value
I believe in allowing Grace. Use the Mandala to guide your breath.

Read all about the ‘Allowing Grace’ next week.

New Friends, True Friends

What would life look like without friends?  The very word FRIENDSHIP contains kindness, joyful encounters worth treasuring.  Strong, long and deep. Short and sweet. whatever the flavor, every friendship counts. And when you get to make new friends true friends, its truly a jewel to value.

its your turn 1 named and cropped

One day I realized that true friends don’t look or act a particular way. I don’t like them because I ‘should,’ but because I simply do. It’s a matter of the heart that can happen in an instant or develop over a period of time. Discovering new friends is like exploring the world. When we do it with a mind and heart open to possibilities and love, connection and magic are bound to happen.”  Kayce Stevens Hughlett

While not every moment is a unicorn moment, with those we love and linger with, we do grow with our friends and through them.  What would travel or meals be like, without our darling peeps to share it all with?

F vibrates to the energy of the number six, as does words that begin with an F like friends, fun and family.  The number of ourf named calendar year 15 (1+5) is 6. So this year, we are being called to make new friends, and cherish the ones we have. To Focus on the joy of connection by using those meaningful moments to open our hearts. The letter F faces forward, almost like a body eagerly bounding towards the moment. Full. Flowing. Fabulous. Free.

6 is a number of Love and Abundance, passionately engaged, listening to your heart and living from that warmth, which includes savoring the tasty morsels of friendship.   On a journey for more girlfriend time and in my case combining business with pleasure, because it is all pleasure.

its your turn 2 named

The six is compassionate and nurturing. Friendship doesn’t need sacrifice or suffering, just love and acceptance. A friend lets you go on about the niggling stuff that annoys you, till its time to set you straight. They hold you upright when your soul tears apart. Friends don’t make you pull yourself together, they let you flow back into you, when the time is right.  Stronger, wiser, more certain. Therein lies the beauty of friendship.  Nothing is too much or too little. It is all perfect.

Last weekend was a new friend extravaganza.   I took a jubilant ride on a 3 day trip to an event we are all part of - ‘Its Your Turn’  (because it really is our turn to shine share and support each other), with two funny, fabulous women I scarcely knew.  This journey richly rewarded our willingness to explore, not just what was out the window, but the exquisite tapestry that wove us together across the miles.

its your turn 5 cake name

Bright beautiful Sunshine Sue, a self-empowerment humorist, speaker and author, all round ray of light and irreverent story teller, who dubs her journey from ‘fry girl’ to ‘rocket scientist’ at NASA, and the glorious, gorgeous Kayce Stevens Hughlett, artist of living, practicing her passions for writing, speaking, lifestyle coaching and taking groups for soul strolls in Paris.

Yes there were three.  Kayce, Sunshine and Me.  Maybe we weren’t in Paris but we were determined to enjoy the ride to and from Shell Beach.  Starting with the first night where we landed up waiting for other early arrivers at the wrong restaurant, and decided to stay anyway.

its your turn 3 named

We laughed till we cried, spilled secrets and truths as friendship knit us together, 3 women going south to an event of around 30.  Before this trip I knew Sunshine Sue a little and Kayce even less. Kayce and I had never had a live conversation or met in person.  What a tribute to friendship and the energy of 6.  3 and 6 are both part of the emotional triad, that invoke feelings.   We all showed up and unrolled the red carpet to trust and spontaneity. Read Kayce’s delightful post on this adventure here.

That connection deepened in memorable moments, walking by the ocean, donning hats that belonged to Doris, (Sunshine Sue’s grandmother) recorded by the obligatory and hilarious selfie, to savoring the flavors of wine in Edna Valley and our whims as we drove back north. Indulging in what my fabulous new friend Kayce calls ‘soul strolling’ with a sense of contentment and happiness.

Gleefully we stopped at the Madonna Inn to grin into curly carvings and gasp at the restrooms, (the mens room has a waterfall and yes we did go in) more laughter and selfies ensued. Moving on to San Luis Obispo we stopped to breathe in hand made soap scents like chocolate and wine, and each bought something that spoke of her personality.

its your turn cones named

Then we discovered a good spot to eat along the river and lingered over a tasty meal, talking, laughing as the sun went down and the moon rose over the mission.    On the way out we stopped for ice cream cones, all the while enjoying the beauty and blessing of new friends, true friends.

Even as we rose early the next morning to drive the last miles before parting, and stood in that a threesome hug, there was that unspoken knowing that at any moment in the future, we could pile in for another road trip and make magic all over again.

What is your best friendship memory?  Do you have a story about friends or what the number 6 means to you?  One thing I realized on this trip is the Sunshine Sue, Kayce and I loved sharing our stories.  They connected us closely and quickly.

If you want to know what your numbers say about you, feel free to dally on my services page here.

If you want to read more the number 10 which is also the number of the month of February go here.

If you want to know about why speaking your truth may be the best thing for you go here.

Love,   Jen signature

 

 

 

Sun & Moon more than orbs in the sky

A new moon rose January 20. A double 00 meeting of mind and heart. Sun and Moon nestle next to one another on the new moon, for a birthing and lie opposite each other on the full moon (the completion). Isn’t that fascinating?

Why do Diviners go on and on about the MOON?

the moon named

The moon represents our emotional home, those watery ties to who we are beneath the surface.  Our physical home is a scratching post for what really lies beneath.  Knowing who we are on a core level is so intriguing and magnetic. Which is why those tests on desire and personalities are so appealing.We are drawn to these bodies of discovery because feelings rule our lives. A creative urge begins the journey to self express.  To understand our path.

The feminine energy in our souls clings in our bodies,  and when we are in hiding gets covered up with weight, clothes, all manner of pretending.  I can laugh about it now (with deep compassion) because I have been there.  Hiding is safe habit for me, been doing it for a long long time. Happily I have found a willingness to shed those layers, a work in progress still.  So give yourself kudos for staying on the trail, where ever you are right now.

When you think about it, the Moon, our mother, our secret self, is full of water.  She controls the tides after all.  Water can be crystal clear, cloudy, calm, shallow, still, swift,  a deep liquid swarming with all manner of beasties within.   Water helps us navigate those tricky depths and flow around the distractions. Water just keeps moving with the life that moves within it.

The moon in its purest form is a diamond, a hard crystal that gets to the heart of the matter.  The Sun on the other hand is the surface of our life.  Walls, bricks, straw.  The impression we stamp on the world.  Our conscious mind that materializers the magic of womb and imagination into tangible form. Doer in the light. Our Hero – prime real estate because it is the result of achievement that gets us to do more..  we want our day in the Sun.

SONY DSC

So where the Moon is soft and secret, with hidden caves, the Sun is fire, it ignites, & energizes everything.  Lights the way, encouraging exploration and development.  Many people, including me get really miserable when too much time goes by without the sun shinning his bright yellow shield of gold in the sky.  We even celebrate achievement with golden statues, in honor of the sun.  Gold is precious because it truthfully speaks of wealth in a way we understand and connects us to the alchemy or making hay while the sun shines.  The Sun is the warrior within us, the challenger, father and provider.

We get emotion churned up in the moonlight, dreaming of golden palaces.  Building castles to self expression, joy, well being and abundance. The sun reveals our imperfections and lights a fire within us to dance in the do.  The Moon dreams and the Sun weaves.

Intention is the fire that births sand into glass.  Idea into matter.The Moon listens, the Sun brings the tools.

Silver and Gold, Hot and Cool, Masculine and Feminine, Inner and Outer, Fire and Water, Gold and Diamond, Movement and Stillness, Father and Mother. Truth and Lies, Shadow and Light. Action and dreams.

All of it a vast treasure chest awaiting our pleasure, we can dig into and dress up depending on our needs at any moment.  A vision needs a place to gestate before birth, and these jewels of sun and moon provide a cornucopia of possiblity.

SONY DSC

The moon reminds us that we need to listen and act in order to materialize well being and prosperity into our lives.  Like the sun and moon, working in tandem, bringing us light all night and day.  Every vision needs power and action (from the sun) and meditation and sleep (from the moon)

Life, legends and legacy all needs the mother and father, heart and thought, light and dark to bloom and blossom.

If you are curious to know what your numbers can birth within you, I invite you to check out my offerings.

Reflections of 2014

Its Old year’s eve of 2014 and I feel a little pull at my heart to say goodbye to this year of such growth and goodness.

Scanning through 8,339 photos, and reflecting on the 2014 reminds me of how many amazing things happened this year. (okay still have a few photos to go and more to delete)

bum vases and workshop participants

I travelled, met amazing women, saw wondrous things, laughed, ate delicious meals, had incredible conversations.  Discovered my tribe, attended a wondrous chi gong retreat. Welcomed the Winter Solstice in a profound way. Deepened connections with old friends. Celebrated my child’s 21st.

champagne and cheese with Ava

Most of all I really found my resonance.  My truth.

I was able to focus my passion and calling with  help from key women in my life. Three of whom I bonded with at a retreat, Blaze Lazarony,  Joie Gharrity and Lisa Lamont and these friendship have supported me and brought me to new people and opportunities. One of them being The Gypsy Truth Tellers Radio show with Lisa Lamont.   And so much JOY.

joie blaze and me April 2014

Wonderful things have been happening.  My word of the year for 2014 was Prosperity.

You know, I haven’t made millions or even hundreds of thousands, but I did discover a well of prosperity within me, and with all the people in my life. I feel so rich with what I have now.  Even stopped saying I can’t wait to do something.  Because I am enjoying savoring the moment.

girlfriends

I am grateful, humbled and delighted.

My word for 2015 is Trust.   With a side order of consistency.

tea

What are you celebrating about your experiences of 2014?

What did you gain and what did you lose? What will you take into 2015?

I would love to hear,  share your thoughts below,

Happy New Year!

love  Jen

December is a 10

December is a 10 a number of new beginnings & instant manifestation. The prime Universal Code, the Sacred language of love and light.

magic of 10

Yes, December is without fail the final of 12 months in the Western Calendar.  12 is a measure of time – 12 months, 12 planetary houses, 12 hours of daytime, 12 new moons, 12 full moons.  12 by its very nature holds the first three prime numbers.

12 is the number of learning,  through action and connection we learn, reflecting the natural cycle of life.   One plus two – First (masculine) and Second (feminine) equal 3 (the child).  Joyful play are the result and the cause of self discovery.  Exactly the mood for the final month of the year, where we reflect, celebrate and plan.

While our Western calendar and the seasons keep up on track, and nature and the universe has its own timekeeper.  We mark hours and days by the numbers, they are a constant in our lives.

A universal conversation, no matter what tongue you speak.

The numeric calendar of the universe is invoked when we add all the digits of the daily calendar.

universal codeGregorian or Western calendar follows the same plan every year.  However the universal calendar runs on energy, fueling our growth and allowing for shifts and change to aid our souls journey, life purpose and destiny. This calendar is full of clues.   Which means every December is not a 10 universal month.  The universal numbers do move around, and there is a method to this madness.   It is quite magical.

This year December looks like this :  2+0+1+4+1+2  which adds up to 10.

10 is a powerful number.  Containing divine protection with that exquisite Zero.  The  circle of life itself and the shape of the world.  Round is soft and has no edges, it can expand and contract as needed and you can land into spaces you have never traveled. Plus One  – the Prime number. Where the individual is separated from the mass to become one. That springboard of action.  One is the leader, and visionary as illustrated by expressions like you are number one.

We recognize the intrinsic power of one.  A baby learns “this is mine” at a very young age for a reason. There is safety in autonomy.  And brilliance in being ok with who we are.  Right now.

In wearing your crown with pride.  Queen of your life and your castle.

11-24-98-1 -- CROWN #3 -- TIM BERGER -- ROSE The 1940-1953 Rose Queen crown.1 and 0 together create the number we call the perfect 10. People have lists and measurements that revolve around that perfect score.  We are a little obsessed by the TEN and no wonder.  The magic of ten is illustrated in the act of adding a zero to a one,  every zero added increases the value by 10. Its pretty fabulous.

There is something else magical about the 10.  It is a number of instant manifestation.It puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.  You get to take charge of recognizing who you are in this moment.  You are a 10.  You have it all, right now and every breath. Even as you shift and expand.

Your belief is what separates you from others, a personal template of your life.  Take Mae West.  She didn’t wait for someone else to give her a stamp of approval. She understood from a young age that life gave her exactly what she expected. So she expected good things.  And you know what?  Good things kept happening.  The kind of good things she knew exactly what to do with.

mae west quote

Now you probably don’t want Mae West’s life. But you can learn from her.  She knew there was an opportunity for more freedom for women.  So she took the opening that shocked people.  One of her quotes is a perfect example of a 10 at work  –  “I believe in censorship, I made a fortune out of it.” She could have sat in her living room and moaned about the restrictions of censorship.  Instead she used it to her advantage.  That is the power of the 10 making things happen, quickly.

There are a couple of rules if you want to invoke the power of 10, for your own good.    Make sure what is on your mind is what you want to attract.  If you think life is difficult or that making money is impossible, the universe will deliver up that dish.    However if you are clear about what you want, set those intentions and focus on believing it exists in some form already, ie you are prosperous in what you have now, the universe will happily mirror your mind and heart.

what is your ten

When you are focusing on manifesting take a leaf from Mae’s playbook.  If you expect good things they keep happening.   Of course the number 10 and the Universe herself are indifferent to the results.  Humans are less so.  Sometimes we get fixated on a result we want and when it doesn’t happen, we get mad or angry.  Many times we give up. Did Mae rail against the world when she was called a slut or worse?  No, she used humor and the power of manifesting to get more of what she believed in.

Better to step into who you want to be, generous and prosperous.  Rich with life, blessed and joyful. That way goodness overflows everywhere, with plenty for all. This December you get a do over. To be number one, a co-creator of your own life.   Get clear, plan, decide and act, with your goals in mind.  Actions you take now will bear fruit to carry you through 2015.

What will you do with your 10?

If you want to find out what your personal numbers reveal about your purpose and personal success map, I invite you to book an Atro Numerology reading.

 

9 Royal Number of Release

November has been a month of Transition.

Everywhere I turn I am reminded that we are in a Number 9 (2+0+1+4+1+1) month. I suddenly got really sick without warning on Monday.  The 9 at work bringing me off my feet, to let go.

number pic 9

Numerology (the science of numbers) codifies everything by numbers, of course. There are two numeric systems at work her for marking days.  The Gregorian calendar, the one most westerners are familiar with.

And the Universal Calendar, the world I play in, where the Pythagorean method of measuring numbers is employed. Pythagoras believed the world was built on the power of numbers.

A vibration that resonates to souls and science.

The Gregorian Calendar gives us our year.  2014.    The Single digits added together (2+0+1+4 equals 7) give us the Universal Calendar.   Within the familiar lies the secret.  This is very much much the story of life. Hidden layers that the eye cannot see, surface when the heart opens.

Well this 9 month is lovingly giving us a kick in the butt, to revisit and release what is outdated. Basically with signs around the neck saying this has got to go, or similar.  Sometimes we do need to have it that obvious.   What are your signs saying?  Mine are ‘With all this crap in here you will not get where you want to go.  Time for a major cleaning!!!’

women to have power quote

My getting sick came with throwing up (definitely a sign that things have got to go) and lots of very vivid dreams and communications from my inner wisdom.   All about making a stand, and enough with the excuses (more clutter and obstruction).  The world doesnt judge us, we do.  Worrying how we look instead of getting back on that Success horse that needs us to practice by doing because it is the only way to get it the horse to move to the next square.

Ergo, I am in the perfect place.

A nine month is a month of the end point. So far and no further.  Especially in a 7 year of sabbatical energy.   It is that thousand and two night of Sheherazade. Finally she gets to go home and sleep in her own bed.  Sleeping beauty awakes from slumber by the falling away of poison. The kiss of a stranger is a reminder that beginnings mean you will meet people you don’t know.  Maybe one of them will be yourself.  A brave new world with the restart button primed.

Once you have shaken off what holds you back.

This Magnificent 9  – King of Numbers. Contains all that precedes it 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9=45  4+5=9

A moment, a day, a month or a year filled with wisdom shown in the large head of the 9,  how will you use this knowledge?   To lighten your load or to batten the hatches?

Many have tried to defy the 9 by using more ego.  Heck I have tried for years.  Even now, I cant help thinking I know better, but when I feel,  I am ready to be lighter.

Expansive with emotion, the 9 encourages the natural flow of seasonal cycles creating an energetic fusion that makes room for art, music and travel.

Roses

Beckoning us to lie in our bed of roses

Be okay with who you are.   Relinquish that hold on the things you ‘should’ have for this journey.

Accept what has gone before and rejoice in it, for this is the keyhole of life.

Allow all that has been to infuse your very depths to slow to a stillness.  It was all perfect and it brought you here.

Now wave good bye.  Really this is like a Harry Potter and Hermione adventure,  standing on Platform number 9 and a half, waiting for the beginning,  a small suitcase, a lunch pack and a magic wand.

Yes 9 whispers, the numbers will guide you faithfully.  Now jump on board, we are off.

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

The incredible shrinking woman cheats herself, and others by taking up less space in the world.
Practiced at speaking too quickly, or not at all, mumbling, apologizing, even whispering. Playing it safe, because she is embarrassed to stand out, or ask for too much.

photo 5

But if no one can see her, how safe is she really? In playing it small, she loses her rights and most of the juicy prizes.   There is no reward for playing it small.

What value do you place on the freedom to say your fill?  To show up life size?

Once I thought it wasn’t good manners to talk too much. I heard that phrase often while growing up. ‘Children should be seen and not heard’ Trouble is children grow into adults. When do we get that big ass note that says permission to be as noisy as you want granted? I am so ready!

photo 4-1

I used to be a shrinking violet, swallowing my laugh, hiding in plain sight, desperately ashamed of how ugly and unloveable I felt. So while opportunities were knocking, I was looking down at my feet, secretly longing to be picked, to belong to the noisy happy bunch that didn’t keep score or worry about standing out too much or not enough.

There is a plethora of generalities that women complain too much, talk to much, feel to much. Maybe everything a woman says is somehow too much in some peoples minds. Who cares? We have been pliant and pleasant and fallen over backwards, to no avail. Being the quietest doesn’t have much of a ring.

We all have a voice for a reason, just like we all have a choice in how we use that instrument of freedom. To be silent or loud, long suffering or expressive. Let’s just do it. Speak our minds and our fill. Step out of the shadows into our light.  Be big as we are meant to be.

photo 2-1

Once upon a time I would keep quiet, so I wouldn’t offend someone, anyone. But who will speak for me if I am always silent? I am tired of swallowing my thoughts.  My incredible shrinking woman has had enough. A silent woman is not a peace keeper, she works for the enemy. Keeping small is not honorable, turning the other cheek gets you slapped twice. Having experienced the silent treatment and the betrayal that comes with it, I know how much it hurts.

Cutting yourself short because you think no one wants to hear what you have to say. Feeling pressured to pretend. Judging yourself, rushing to speak, or stopping abruptly then feeling resentful that you didn’t say it all will not give you freedom or joy. How will you ever know or get better at expressing thoughts if you don’t speak up?

words truth

Yes, I am guilty of all those acts. I played small to the hilt.
Many times I failed to enjoy “my moment” to shine because I was more concerned about what people thought than sharing my truth.
Missing my own moment. That does not feel right. In fact it feels really wrong.
Shameful on a whole new level.
To be that woman who refuses to take up space to feel sacred in that expression of self. And in that act, denying other women, mothers, daughters, sisters, the right to freely speak. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Yesterday I was at a Goddess Circle in the woods. It was Divine in every sense of the word. We were there to celebrate and honor the Day of the Dead, our Ancestors and let old outdated habits die.

photo 4

During a private moment. I stood in a shaft of sunlight and breathed in the wisdom of the ancients who danced around our circle. They told me it was time to let go of the last vestiges of the incredible shrinking woman. She is no longer useful. Hiding only works for so long but once you set intentions, and open up for abundant joy, then hiding becomes a distraction. It gets in the way of life, it stops the flow of goodness.

When I hide, it tells the universe I am not serious about wanting to stand in my truth.
When I shrink myself to ‘be fair’, I am playing it small.

When I stand in my bigness,  I give other women the freedom to stand in their fullness.

This November 5, (traditionally Guy Fawkes day),m the number of freedom and change will be intensified since it is a double 5 day.  Five on the calendar and 5 universally  2+0+1+4+1+1+5=14.  1+4=5, which is a day of sharing that truth,  I will be lighting a bonfire to my shrinking woman, and I invite you to join me by step into a size that you can grow into.

To your Success,

Jen

 

Speaking my Truth

I am here to be a truth teller, practicing the Art of Speaking my Truth. Most of us believe in speaking truthfully or at least sharing a version of our truth.  As long as it doesn’t have teeth.

As a little girl I spoke my truth, then got scared,  and was shamed into silence.  I believe in past lives and I get that you may not, which is fine. You are not required to share my beliefs, but it is part of why I feel compelled to be honest.  As an Akashic Reader and Healer I travel into history often. Witness to experiences I, and some of my clients had, punished for speaking out for truth, silenced because others were afraid.  It hurt badly and often ended in a violent death.

SONY DSC

That violence created fear of being true to ourselves and that fear stuck. Perhaps it sounds a little crazy to you, but I have lost layers of energetic weight working through my fears in the past couple of years. Every day it gets easier to be more of who I am.

We carry energetic memories in our cells and they keep us immobilized, clinging to what is familiar. Whether these experiences happened to us or to our ancestors, the wounds still affect us.  It messes with our lizard brains and our shuttered hearts, reminding us that safety at all costs, aka keeping quiet is the best way to survive.

Now, after shedding old vows, pain and chains, I do want to openly expose my secrets, even though a few layers left that protest.  I must step up to remind myself of my “no more excuses” rule.  Hiding under the covers will not make me braver or put my truth out on the laundry line.

goddess in stoneDoing what terrifies me is needed now.  The October 23rd new moon triggered a 00 restart button for the Moon, Sun and Venus.  Double zeroes times three is a pretty rare new moon happening, with a partial eclipse,  all which intensifies the Divine Protection.  Eyes of the soul peer back at us setting us off on a deeper dive into what rings true for us.  Zeroes after all are everything and nothing, the Alpha and Omega, beginning and end.  I want to say death by fire but maybe it really is life by fire.   Swirling emotions that choke the conscious mind, and dip into the honey pots of money, beauty, death and love all beckon for a stripping down.

The universe is offering us a chance to live differently, by standing in our true being,  risking all for love of self.  Life purpose, and destiny spelled out in numbers. Night after night I have these dreams where I just miss the mark because I am playing it safe.  Am I willing to lose birthing my truth, now when it is finally safe to crawl out of my secret cave?

uncover your truthThe answer is no.  Even in those dreams I am going back to get it right. Grasping my courage like a sword, aiming for cutting into my taboos, opening hidden wounds.  Laughing and crying all the way because it is nothing personal, its more awakening, more unspooling of the sacred cloth, and I signed up for this.

What if I meet a man and he tells me I am too old, ugly and wrinkly to be loved?

What if I share my deep secrets and I get booed off the stage?

What if no one buys what I sell because they think I am nuts?

I could what if myself till my last breath.  But I no longer want to.

Jen doing zydeco

Dancing Zydeco with the cowboy at breakfast in Breaux Bridge

As I learn more about my why, and lean in to chip away at the can’t, I find it helps to share my fears. I may look a fool, but at least I am in charge of my fooldom. No-one can tell me to shut up and sit down. Well, yes they can, but I don’t have to be diminished by someone else’s fear, or be chained by it.  Their fear is not my truth.

Intimacy has more to do with honesty than crazy acts.  I don’t have to have wild sex with multiple partners or jump off dizzy cliffs to fully live within my truth.  My willingness to stretch the elastic of my shape into new places, I am drawn to, gives me joy and loosens my restrictions.   It fuels my freedom, while I design my score card.

What are you willing to do this month to challenge a fear, and free your soul?

If you are looking to live a joyful successful life without barriers, I invite you to try out a reading

Free to be me

What does it mean to be independent?
We have all these unspoken rules of behavior, a sort of moral code that we navigate life with.  Bound to behave in a certain way, like keeping other people happy and ignoring our own inherent need for freedom.

butterfly jen quote

5 is the number of freedom.  In fact the word freedom vibrates to that number.  All of us at some point of in our lives have to play in 5 energy. Whether it is a number that shows up in your numeric code or not.   And 5 is the number of change.

In that careful navigation we  get lost  in our eagerness to please others, assuming that “THEY” the moral police, know what matters to us. Wanting to make our loved ones happy, because we are trained to believe if we make them happy, we would be happy.

Having lived much of my life by that “THEY SAY”  people code,  carefully balancing all the bits so I wouldn’t offend anyone or take advantage, i know first hand what happens when we ignore our desire to be free.   We trap ourselves in self denial.

Making a fool of myself or standing out, perhaps by offending someone because I didn’t agree with them was out of the question.  Instead I stuffed down my truth so I could carry a flag for someone else’s.     I had opinions but they were like butterflies trapped in a bell jar.  Going nowhere.

Doing right by other’s makes sense, and we do learn much of this as children.  You may not have been encouraged to be all you could be.  Oh you might have heard the words, but what went on behind closed doors was seldom about living free.

numbers pic 7

None of us are meant to be a carbon copy or an exact match yet, in that need to please, we twist ourselves into places that damage us deeply.  On the surface my life looked lovely as a child, and in many ways it was.   People thought my mom was such a hoot, they wanted one just like her.  She was incredible and I love her dearly, but she was also full of her own shadows.   She wanted freedom and felt trapped by her fears, and I felt shut out.   When you live with someone, you can find your rhythm in theirs, and you learn how it is ‘supposed’ to be.  This is not reality, it is a form of moral bullshit.  I didn’t know better then and neither did she, but I do know what I need now.  Hallelujah!

My mom’s number 7, kept her emotionally aloof, because she unconsciously chose shadow from of her experiences growing up.  It is in a mind number that can over think things, and get people trapped in the past. This clashed with my number 6, which is all about family love, and brought forth my people pleaser, who became my safety buffer.  6 can become a martyr with high expectations that lead to lots of disappointment, when in shadow. Unlike its power behavior which is all about taking responsibility for self and loving people for who they are.
Yes, that was me.  A 6 in shadow, because I put pleasing others in front of my needs, thinking (my number 7) I was doing the right thing.  Except it brought out the worst in me, and made me feel wronged.  I couldn’t reason with the result nor makes sense of my fear.

I learned to pretend that all was well, so much so, that I had absolutely no idea what made me happy.  My mom and I were both living in the shadow of our numbers without knowing it. And my mom was only one example of how I thought I needed to be someone else, in order to be loved ergo free.

actually it does matterAs a result I constantly found myself denying what mattered to me.  In fact “it doesn’t matter” is a saying I said so many times, I believed it.  But the truth is it does matter.  It took good friends who love me for who I am now, to remind me that if I bring up something, it is because it matters.  And thats ok.  I am allowed to speak up for what matters to me.  Just as you are allowed to speak up about what matters to you.

Part of owning my individuality.  Standing up for myself is in listening and hearing not only truths from others, but also my own inner truth.  Being ok with all of me, so I can evolve.  Of course having the wisdom of my numbers to draw on helps, too. Now I have a sense of compassion for my mom and me.  It really does make life easier.  Your inner truths must line up with your outer truths.

Knowing my numbers frees me, because I recognize the shadow and I know how to move from shadow into light.  Being free to be me, also means I can’t blame others for what shows up in my life.   Yes, it is a responsibility, and it is a relief.  I feel light and joyful in sharing my experiences and thoughts without guilt or shame.   I feel rich in this freedom.

What of you?   What does freedom mean to you?

If you want to discover your Success Numbers so you can freely live on purpose, and in joy, take a look at my services page.