I am sitting in a patch of sun, looking at tree tops and enjoying the charm of my new apartment. An unexpected opportunity to move has rewarded me, although I admit that the thought of moving overwhelmed me. I had dreamed of moving but not made it happen because I told myself I couldn’t afford it.
My old place was a 2 year temporary measure that I had a hard time letting go of. Even a place that drags one down can feel comforting in the blur of fear. It wasn’t all bad but it wasn’t as good as it gets either.
My life lesson is to deny my desire and I am part of the “Mz Not Enough” faculty. So even though I know the importance of having a Chic Cocoon, am creating spaces for other women and teaching them how to do it, I still felt the pull of not being worth having more.
I decided that all the irritations I had ignored in the apartment, like the peeling bathroom had to be fixed. So i could finally settle in and make it work.
Naturally the unexpected happened. My landlady told me I complain too much (this was the first time I had said a word so I guess speaking up was too much) and I should leave by the end of the month. I was gobsmacked.
I knew what she was demanding was illegal, that 2 months notice in writing was mandatory. However I focused on getting her to climb off her high horse and let her know that the end of the month was two weeks away so I was not committing to leave by that date.
I was in shock that my safe life was on a teeter totter. What would I do? It was a Monday and fortunately my brother was in town visiting, I was grateful to have him along for the apartment hunting. The first place we saw looked perfect from the outside. And my first response was I can’t afford that, let’s not waste time looking at it.
How wrong was I? My brother is a man of action. He was already dialing. And I fell in love with what I saw. High ceilings, generous rooms, wood floors, a view of trees, sunny and bright. The kitchen is a General Electric fifties model (adorable but a challenge to cook in) and the bathroom is charming. I wanted to pinch myself but still I hesitated to fill in the application, in fear mode. At my sibling’s urging I do it. He reminds me that the first place is always the best. By Thursday the apartment was mine if I wanted it. A gift from the universe if I had the courage to step on the bridge. And I did.
The next 10 days was an exhausting whirlwind of packing up, hiring movers, cleaning and clearing to get to done, before rushing off to house sit for a friend which had been planned months previously. I think my ex landlady was surprisingly shocked when I gave my notice.
A month later I am sitting in my new space, grateful for the events that shifted not just my abode, but my soul. It feels like a a boulder has lifted off my chest. I no longer have to dread going home, or feel any shame about where I live. I am so excited to share my unfolding nesting with you.
Have you ever experienced a serendipitous move or moment where everything fell into place in spite of your not believing you were worthy? What happened? I would love to celebrate with you so leave a comment below.
If you feel drawn to create your own Sanctuary of Chic and don’t know where to start, check out my services page or contact me directly firstname.lastname@example.org. You don’t have to change your address to change how you treat yourself.