A woman’s room

Creating a room of you own can seem a daunting task.  Yet when you create that space you also open the door to having sanctuary.   You give yourself permission to set boundaries.


Brown velvet couch. Shot at ABC Design NYC

The kind of boundaries that have you easily escaping into that spa for the soul. As often as you need.  Let’s face it.  Most women have no private space that is entirely theirs.  An impossible dream you may think.

How does one get selfish and self centered enough to claim a space purely to be alone?

Yet how can you not?

Table shot at ABC Design NYC

Table shot at ABC Design NYC

The very words self centered explain it.   You need that castle for one,  no matter how tiny, so you can center yourself.  Indulge in those moments alone to release the guilt, fear or pain of trying not to hurt anyone. That constant struggle to get it all right all the time can be exhausting.  Your effort to please often backfires because no one should have their way all the time, and everyone including  you need to have your way some of the time.   In that very act of indulging yourself you are doing something for so many.    When you escape to your sacred space, you have time to get clear about what you want.   Maybe  what you want is  time in your room alone when you get home, perhaps it is sleeping in on Saturday.  Whatever your need is, you can request it, when you know it.

Floor pattern

Floor pattern

Your loved ones would love to know what you want and where they stand.  They maybe confused by your people pleasing ways or why you say yes to so many things till you lose your temper and explode.  They would probably welcome you taking a break, knowing that you will come out refreshed, relaxed and confident.

Glass Vases shot in NYC

Glass Vases shot in NYC

I have found setting and sharing those limits clearly has been very helpful to people I work or live with.   It has also freed me up time to heal and acknowledge my own needs.

Running on empty is not a practical life practice.  It keeps you frayed at the edges, trying to make people do things they don’t want to do, which brings up more frustration and helplessness till you don’t know where to turn.  You feel frustrated and so does everyone else.

flea market NYC

Flea market treasures shot in NYC

Creating a space to go to, when you are feeling all used up, is a wonderful way to get centered and clear.     Do you have a space in your home that you can claim?

If you want some ideas,  check my blog or my book  Le Chic Cocoon, which shares tips on spaces that work as sanctuaries for the soul.

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