Being real as a Woman

Being seen. What does that mean to you?

Historically It has been perfectly fine to be seen for who we are not.
The problem is getting our stories straight in our own mind and life. I don’t know about you, but I am done with making my life more complicated.
Simple happiness is my goal..

I have found a disempowering disconnect in trying to be more than one person.
To show up in different layers. Today a writer, tomorrow a mother and the next day or hour the business woman. Getting all those pieces to meld into one powerful whole is challenging and rewarding.

I don’t want to change hats so much that I don’t recognize myself, or that I disappear to reappear as a stranger to the rest of me.

A couple of weeks ago I read that when you have a name and a nick name then your power is shared and lessened.
I thought about it. I call myself Jennifer as a formal business hat, but really I am Jen. People ask me all the time so are you Jen or Jennifer? What a relief to realize I don’t have to hold onto Jennifer because it sounds more serious. I am Jen and now I can own it and it feels good. As a matter of fact as soon as I decided I was going to be just Jen, the phone rang. A woman invited me to be on her show about Love. Talk about a sign from the Divine.

When you get clear about who you are, no matter what role you are playing, the game becomes so much easier. I don’t think we should pretend to be what we are not. Or appear ok with things that don’t connect with who we are. Like staying silent when someone says insulting things about what we believe, so we don’t hurt their feelings.

You know I am the Polite Woman, guiding people pleasers to getting what they want without giving up who they are or coming across like a bitch.

It’s a tightrope walk.

Making sure you don’t offend anyone, while keeping your feet on the ground. My experience is that the more pretending or covering up you have to do, the less real you feel. I think life is about being authentic. Why stop being you to please someone else? It doesn’t work well and is not satisfying. In fact it takes a lot of effort.
What does work is to embrace you. All of you. Loving yourself like you can’t get enough of your fabulousness.
Let go of trying to be what you think other people want, which typically backfires.
Either because we land up assuming the wrong thing or we are left unhappy, balancing too many balls we are not passionate about, in the air.

I know you have a sweet giving nature, why not let it show? In a way that respects your choices and the choices of others. Being polite does not mean you have to agree, it does mean you say what you think because you want people to know where you stand. You do it in a way that doesn’t hurt people.

Speak with love and from love, without conditions.

Trust yourself enough to show who you really are. Sheer happiness comes from owning up to you, and letting go of worrying about what others think.

Is there something that stops you from expressing who you are?

Joie de Vivre,

Jen Duchene

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Being real as a Woman — 2 Comments

  1. Wow. Helloooo Jen. What a powerful woman you are! I really relate to this article. It’s amazing how much energy I have expended not accepting myself – all of me. Can I be loving, generous, joyful, certain and at the same time angry, fearful, controlling or “out of control”? Yes. Of course. I am all of this and more.

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