Retreat Places.

When the world closes in on you, clamoring in need, when you need time to just breathe, connect, administer a dose of self-love.  Where do you go?

A recent survey by MORI in to women’s me-time*, revealed that even with all the gadgets and gizmos to make life easier and more relaxing, nearly 60% of women aged 20 – 40 years complained they still didn’t have enough ‘personal time’ to indulge and pamper themselves.

Are you a statistic?

I was. When my husband told me last year that he wanted that divorce we had briefly discussed a few years previously, I was shaken.

The realization suddenly hit me that I had spent my life being a reflection.  Waiting. Doing what was right.  Not by choice.  Not what made me giddy with joy.  I played roles; roles of wife, mother, worker, & Vessel, and truthfully, all of them pretty badly.  Some women are born mothers, and talented housekeepers. Proudly brushing the knots out of their daughter’s hair, teaching them to cook. Being both nourishing and nurturing.

Not me.  Yes I cooked and shopped, and tried to be a suitable wife and mother. I bless my luck for having a daughter who is a golden sunbeam, who allows me all my faults.

I had lived in my head, in a fantasy of my own making. Escaping from my life, from what I had refused, to see.    No wonder the Universe “bitch –slapped” me.  I deserved it.   Living a life of quiet denial.  Not taking the time or space for my own spiritual retreats.  Denying myself the space to light a fire in my belly, until it was almost too late.

When I finally started to create, to invest in me, in my person, in order to grow my business, I stopped being a yes to others woman, stopped pretending.

Truly that was the turning point.  I have shed a waterfall of tears, enough to make my own pillar of look back in salt.   I have exalted and I have grown in the knowing.   Discovered my passion, my voice, and am using that to propel myself into my own skin.

I am so grateful that I am no longer a helpless woman, who wanted others to believe in her. I know now that what other people think doesn’t matter at all.  That my life balances on what I believe and what I act upon.

We can only be our true selves, filled with love and open armed for all of life and our dearest in it, when we take the time to refresh and honor our spirit within.

I hope you are leading the life you desire, one in which YOU are a central player.

What is your escape valve?  Do you have a spiritual renewal practice?

Is there a Diva Den in your life?  What was your turning point or are you still waiting?

If you want a Diva Den to indulge your inner Goddess, call me  Jennifer Duchene 650.644.8592

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Comments

Retreat Places. — 7 Comments

  1. Hi Jennifer,

    I have always foung it neccesary to have my own private sanctuary within our home. Although the space changes to reflect different parts of my personal journey, it is a space that consistently exists to support and sustain me in creating the life I choose to live. It is a place that is distinctly mine where I relax, meditate, dream and recharge.

  2. I always seems to need MORE escape than I get lately. My escape valve and spiritual renewal is meditation. My ‘Diva Den’ is my painting studio though, I only realized this lately as I have been exposed to you. I look forward to having you help me with a future REAL diva den once I move (not sure when that will be).

    • Rowena I so happy that we are getting to know one another. Glad you have meditation and a painting studio to recharge. I would be delighted to help you with your Diva Den when you are ready.

  3. Dear Jen,
    we should do what we were born to do. Not liking to do the household doesn’t mean one can’t be a fabulous Mom. I guess that’s just the old way of thinking and I am glad you stepped out there to find and be yourself.
    Just left a comment on Louise’s blog about it… I will get someone to clean our house soon because I am not meant to be a household manager -never was- and I am not planning to step into that position now 🙂 I was already on the way to become one! Glad I realized that soon enough.

    Hugs to you and I applaud you for your courage and determination to live your life to the fullest,
    Franziska San Pedro
    The Abstract Impressionist Artress

  4. HOW did I miss this post?! I am so glad I stumbled upon it from your last blog post….where is this place pictured above?! I need to go there……wanna meet me? I do not get enough me time, in a me place, hence the door and the lock comment you made on twitter…OH now I am getting in…lol! I love everything about you….I am in awe….following in your footsteps…..I wish I had your pizzaz and courage! Hugs my dear….as you step into your new chapter…which will be fabulous – just like YOU!

    Rita Brennan Freay
    @Rita4kids
    ritabrennanfreay.com

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