The Incredible Shrinking Woman

The incredible shrinking woman cheats herself, and others by taking up less space in the world.
Practiced at speaking too quickly, or not at all, mumbling, apologizing, even whispering. Playing it safe, because she is embarrassed to stand out, or ask for too much.

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But if no one can see her, how safe is she really? In playing it small, she loses her rights and most of the juicy prizes.   There is no reward for playing it small.

What value do you place on the freedom to say your fill?  To show up life size?

Once I thought it wasn’t good manners to talk too much. I heard that phrase often while growing up. ‘Children should be seen and not heard’ Trouble is children grow into adults. When do we get that big ass note that says permission to be as noisy as you want granted? I am so ready!

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I used to be a shrinking violet, swallowing my laugh, hiding in plain sight, desperately ashamed of how ugly and unloveable I felt. So while opportunities were knocking, I was looking down at my feet, secretly longing to be picked, to belong to the noisy happy bunch that didn’t keep score or worry about standing out too much or not enough.

There is a plethora of generalities that women complain too much, talk to much, feel to much. Maybe everything a woman says is somehow too much in some peoples minds. Who cares? We have been pliant and pleasant and fallen over backwards, to no avail. Being the quietest doesn’t have much of a ring.

We all have a voice for a reason, just like we all have a choice in how we use that instrument of freedom. To be silent or loud, long suffering or expressive. Let’s just do it. Speak our minds and our fill. Step out of the shadows into our light.  Be big as we are meant to be.

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Once upon a time I would keep quiet, so I wouldn’t offend someone, anyone. But who will speak for me if I am always silent? I am tired of swallowing my thoughts.  My incredible shrinking woman has had enough. A silent woman is not a peace keeper, she works for the enemy. Keeping small is not honorable, turning the other cheek gets you slapped twice. Having experienced the silent treatment and the betrayal that comes with it, I know how much it hurts.

Cutting yourself short because you think no one wants to hear what you have to say. Feeling pressured to pretend. Judging yourself, rushing to speak, or stopping abruptly then feeling resentful that you didn’t say it all will not give you freedom or joy. How will you ever know or get better at expressing thoughts if you don’t speak up?

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Yes, I am guilty of all those acts. I played small to the hilt.
Many times I failed to enjoy “my moment” to shine because I was more concerned about what people thought than sharing my truth.
Missing my own moment. That does not feel right. In fact it feels really wrong.
Shameful on a whole new level.
To be that woman who refuses to take up space to feel sacred in that expression of self. And in that act, denying other women, mothers, daughters, sisters, the right to freely speak. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Yesterday I was at a Goddess Circle in the woods. It was Divine in every sense of the word. We were there to celebrate and honor the Day of the Dead, our Ancestors and let old outdated habits die.

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During a private moment. I stood in a shaft of sunlight and breathed in the wisdom of the ancients who danced around our circle. They told me it was time to let go of the last vestiges of the incredible shrinking woman. She is no longer useful. Hiding only works for so long but once you set intentions, and open up for abundant joy, then hiding becomes a distraction. It gets in the way of life, it stops the flow of goodness.

When I hide, it tells the universe I am not serious about wanting to stand in my truth.
When I shrink myself to ‘be fair’, I am playing it small.

When I stand in my bigness,  I give other women the freedom to stand in their fullness.

This November 5, (traditionally Guy Fawkes day),m the number of freedom and change will be intensified since it is a double 5 day.  Five on the calendar and 5 universally  2+0+1+4+1+1+5=14.  1+4=5, which is a day of sharing that truth,  I will be lighting a bonfire to my shrinking woman, and I invite you to join me by step into a size that you can grow into.

To your Success,



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The Incredible Shrinking Woman — 6 Comments

  1. Amazing story – this reminds me so much of my journey! – I too have stepped into out of the shadows to LIVE BIG and move in my brilliance. Thank you for sharing!

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