Turning Fear into action step 2

Life is like a restaurant, how do you get to sip and savor the best dishes without tasting fear?  Sometimes even though you know what you want, you hesitate and order what you eat often, or what someone else is having. because making a choice costs more than you wanted to spend.  Then the disappointment and self sabotage sets in, because fear overpowered your choice.

Paris Restaurant

A tricky dish.  Some say that in order to know what we want, we have to be aware of what we don’t want.  I am not sure that is the best way to choose the most delicious course.   Because often we look at our life menu, and focus on the missing ingredients that would make daily consumption more tasty.  But how does that make this meal better?  If I want a new experience I much rather focus on the essence that delights, even if fear has the first bite.

Maybe the most devastating of all decisions at the table of life, is no decision. I sat there much of my life, wanting desperately to do the right thing, order the usual, but it didn’t taste right. I feared eating only what stirred my taste buds because that meant I would have to go hungry many times, or risk eating something horrible.

Salad in Paris

All because of my fear of Fear. It felt safe to fool myself that I was free, by not acting.  But all those dishes of fear I ate cold, gnawed my bones and splintered my heart.  Till fear numbed my appetite and closed down my senses. Swallowing stopped.

When I realized there is no wrong decision, only a point of entry for making change, it changed my world.  Instead of worrying that one decision would ruin my life (and my last chance for a good meal) I realized I could inch along one tiny decision at a time to a whole new banquet. Nibble on an appetizer, make a meal of it, until I was ready to go bigger. It so happens that the aromas I inhaled on this path, had me willing to decide faster, with three steps.

Fear is one ingredient not the whole meal.

Step 2  (read about step one click here and step 3 click here)

Choose what road to take.

That thought would terrify me, but using the inching out of the fear method had me willing to risk more. Plus knowing the strengths and challenges of my life purpose and destiny numbers.  How would I fulfill my destiny if I lived scared?

sunflowers in touraine

See I was ignoring change to stop fear, till I realized that making a choice was powerful.  It gave me a voice to feel into what I wanted and to walk my soul road.  A new path creates excitement has you salivating.  Yes, it comes with a fleeting sensation of dread in case you screw up, but there is joy too.  Reverence for choosing passion over the dull sure thing.    Because a sure thing is not always a sure thing.  The known is as risky as the unknown, only we get confused by the imaginary fear of being a worrier not a warrior.

Risk is always present and at some point, we must be willing to do something that we haven’t tasted fully if at all.   You are going to suck at doing something new, and you will do it over ( or try that dish again ) until eventually, after practice and effort you can do that once dreaded thing with the greatest of ease  ( or eat snails with relish ).The beauty of making a choice instead of sitting down waiting, is that you are excited.  Empowered and even in awe of your own potential.

How can you simplify your choice ?  Reduce to two items, two paths and pick one?

Door number 20

Do the Gut check. How do I know if this is the right choice? Well there is the rub, right?  Fear fills all the cracks solid, and it can make moving feel impossible. Until you decide that you will move no matter what.  What if you take option B?   And it doesn’t work the way you dreamed?  At every given moment you can course correct. We don’t know how it’s going to go until we get started.

Every choice is the right choice. The question becomes, is this the best choice for right now?  Or what do I need to know to move forward?  And go out and find that information so you can continue.

Plate of food Denver

I decided one day I wasn’t going to rollover anymore because I was afraid of what would happen.  One decision 4 years ago, has re-birthed my soul. It was a slow crawl to freedom, and now I can stand upright.

Soup or dessert?  Roll the idea around your tongue, feel it in your body.  Listen for the nod, and then take action.  Order, lift your fork, breathe it in, and taste that sublime flavor!

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Turning Fear into action step 2 — 5 Comments

  1. Jen this was clear and concise. Motivating.Be a warrior not a worrior. Overthinking gets me in trouble and I suppose it stems from fear. Afterall, weren’t we always taught do your best…get that A , get into the best college, land amazing job that pays really well. What is shamed based in many live is when we don’t get the A or accepted the best college we feel we failed. Its hard to pi ck yourself up when those little”it could have been better” conversations go around and around in your head. So, when I am afraid, I play out the”what is the worst?” Senerio.
    Thanks for your teachings hereJen

    • Dear Sue, Glad to inspire and share a little of what I have learned. That overthinking is overrated but it is a habit. You are making great strides, it is wonderful to see.

  2. Love your article beautiful Jen Duchene!!! My favorite part is "The known is as risky as the unknown, only we get confused by the imaginary fear of being a worrier not a warrior." Thank you for sharing with us!!!

  3. I swallow fear and digest it. Sometimes I have to take a TUMS but for the most part, I control what I eat. Life is so much like the foods we eat and I love your analogy in this post. Thanks Jen 🙂

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